Miscellaneous Insomniacal Notions

Can't sleep. Not a problem I have often, but tonight I can't sleep. I guess my mind ponders the whimsical and unpredictable ebb and flow of life, emotions and relationships. This, I'm afraid, will be my first post filed under the subheading, "I Don't Have the Answers, But I Sure Do Have More Questions", which is a pretty reoccurring theme in my life. So here goes:

My mom recently broke up with her boyfriend, which being something we all deal with at some point or another, it's pretty easy to blow-off as a learning experience, better to have loved and lost and so on, and so forth. The only difference being... she's over 50, which makes me think, jeez, of all the crap we have to worry about, I would hope as we get older, that stuff wouldn't be one of them. We all struggle with feelings and insecurities, and I guess I was kinda hoping that when we get older, feelings kinda fade, the same way your eyesight, and memory, and boyish good looks do... but apparently, not so. She's a good hearted soul, but being quite cynical, I don't know that she'll ever do what it takes to meet the "right" one. Being newly (re)married, I can attest to the peace of mind that the stability of a happy home life brings, which allows you to be able to take on the next big challenge, now that you've gotten this "love" thing whipped. Oh, but let's not forget that this little hot-rod doesn't drive itself! This thing has to be maintained; you've got to check the oil, Keep it in new tires, fill the fuel tank, keep it insured, make sure it's got a nice garage, and keep it waxed and shiny and pretty, or else you might come home from work early and find the neighbor's BMW sneaking out the back door... It DOES have it's own challenges. I can't tell you how many times I've heard it said,"Man, I'll never get married again. When I was single I had it made..." followed by a long list of reasons why they were "THE MAN". Guess what... divorced and remarried, almost every time. It's just funny to me to think of how we always want. If you're wanting a new digital camera, what happens when you get it? Bliss for MAYBE 30 days... THEN you need a 50" LCD TV so you can accurately display the detailed 10 megapixel pictures, then because you have such a kick-ass TV, you want a BluRay Player to enjoy the stunning resolution, then a Billion watt Surround-Sound w/ 50 speakers, and then an MediaCenter PC w/ 1 trillion Gig hard drive so you can TiVo every episode of Nashville Star, dub it into Mandarin and play it backwards to find embedded Satanic messages, just because you can. Point being, if you hadn't gotten the camera, you wouldn't knee deep in Chinese Satanic conspiracy theory. You'd still just want the camera. Not that's it wrong to want stuff, just accept that you are always going to want stuff, so scratching this itch won't keep you from itching.

So, in the seeming triviality of all this, my current conclusion is this: It's OK to want things and to go places and all of that, but the only thing that really matters in this world is the people we share it with. Everything else is just stuff. If you have somebody important in you're life, maintain it. Don't cheat, don't lie, don't take for granted, don't always assume that they know what you think of them, and don't always think that they don't think the world of you (dammit, now I'm starting to sound like a cheesy "FW: FW:smile..." email). And for Christ's sake do whatever it takes to make it work, because nobody wants to meet your 50 year-old ass in the bar, trying to pretend you aren't a shell of what you used to be.